Kidnapping and Ransom Insurance Has Become a Necessary Precaution

California Health Insurance agent, Matt Lockard, is now offering kidnap and ransom insurance to shipping crews placed in harm's way.

The man who entered Matt Lockard's cheerful and tastefully decorated office on that Wednesday afternoon wore buckles on his shoes and a silk shirt dating from the 18th Century. He carried a sword of some kind quite visible in the scabbard he wore. He also wore a black patch over his right eye. His teeth were rotten and his skin was mottled and yellow. He caught Matt staring.

"What?" the man said. "Haven't you ever seen scurvy a'fore?"
Matt Lockard is not a man to unsettle easily. "C-an I help you?" he said while flashing his own well-flossed pearly whites.

"I've heerd that you's a sellin' Kidnap and Ransom insurance to shipping crews," the mysterious man said. "I'm prepared to set me sails off beyond the African continent next month."

"You heard right," Matt said with a bit more confidence.

"Better give me some," said the mysterious man. He provided his name as Edward Teach, and demonstrated a clear vulnerability. "I want to feel safe. Heard tell that there's pirates agin' roamin' the seven seas, making the waters treacherous. Can I pay with gold pieces, or do you require silver?"

"You're a teacher?" Matt asked. Part of a syllable had evidently been made to walk the plank.

"Yes, something like that," Teach said, his teeth giving off a slight stench as he opened his gob.

"You're smart to purchase kidnap/ransom insurance," Matt added, feeling more at ease with the man. "Gold or silver, it's all the same to me. Just no doubloons. They don't fit in the cash drawer properly."

"What else does it cover?" Mr. Teach asked.

"The EPIC 1 plan covers illegal detention, extortion, home invasion, carjacking, and numerous other means of extorting money from you," Matt explained.

"I see," said the swashbuckler, suddenly grinning from ear to ear, "You are an honorable sort Lockard, an honorable sort indeed."

"I'm a California Health Insurance agent sir. I be nothing more, nothing less."

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California Health Insurance Agent Offers Trip Cancellation Policies

California Health Insurance Agent Matt Lockard offers Patriot T.R.I.P. insurance coverage in the event of the unthinkable.

Stanford R. Doe and his wife Jane were about to board the plane, Southwest Flight 6754, at Gate 3 in LAX when they heard the news. Up until that tense moment, they'd figured that buying T.R.I.P. insurance had been one of those purchases performed out of prudence in case of the unthinkable. But in that instant, they knew.

"Mr. and Mrs. Doe wait!" the urgent voice had shouted.

Because of what had happened, the couple had no choice. They walked as if in a daze, but unassisted to the airlines ticket counter to cancel their flight to Tunisia, where Stanford and Jane had long dreamt of celebrating their second honeymoon, although their first one had occurred a mere six months earlier.

They drove the rental to inspect the ruins. A gas explosion had gutted their home and all their belongings. They stopped the rental, a Rambler station wagon, in front of what had been their front yard. "All that grass seed wasted," Stanford told his grieving wife with tears pouring down his cheeks, "and the automatic sprinkler system, it's b-broken," he sobbed, his voice choked by emotion and by the odor of charred dandelions in the fetid air.

"What will the neighbors think?" Jane cried out, as if she were a wounded self-conscious beast without a split-level, which she now was.

They still had a cell phone that worked. It was purple, a sad color. She put in a call to homeless child she'd so suddenly become in her now infantile mind. He'd been expecting
a call from the forlorn Does, after reading about the explosion in yesterday's news. Hearing Matt answer, all she could do was sob into the receiver.

"It's activated. Don't worry about your trip cancellation. You have full Patriot T.R.I.P. coverage. You and Stanford wouldn't have enjoyed Tunisia under these circumstances. The travel agent will understand about losing his commission. He won't be angry at you for canceling," Matt spoke softly into the phone, realizing that a couple's dreams had been shattered, both in the sense of where they were going, and where they'd been. But at least T.R.I.P. had saved them from what might have added insult to their injury.

"Thank you so much Matt," Jane managed to blurt.
"Just doing my job as a California Health Insurance agent," he replied self-effacingly. "I reacted instinctively when I sold you that policy. It's what I do." California Health Insurance agent Matt Lockard, as if to be reassured like the small

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Wine Tasting Tour in Temecula Turns Terribly Tingly

A pleasant afternoon of Temecula Valley wine tasting is ruined by killer bees, but Chris and Sally Sadhart were at least prepared for the stinging contingency by their California Health Insurance agent.

Chris and Sally would never have thought it. They were an amorous and amiable couple, married for the better part of three years, prudent in the extreme, and were headed out to Temecula for a pleasant sojourn of wine tasting. "The tour will be fun," Sally said, "and the local wines are superb."

But there were so many wineries to choose from. Finally, a fateful decision was made. They turned their 2007 Toyota Tundra into the driveway and parked.

The tour began pleasantly enough. Harry, their guide and waiter, brought over twin tasting glasses of Syrah. "It's a dry red table wine," he said, "very nice."

"Very nice," Chris and Sally echoed in unison. The afternoon was perfect. A cloudless sky, not excessively hot, a little breeze was blowing at low levels near the ground, like a miniature headwind. It felt good on the skin.

Next was a Cabernet Sauvignon. "This one is mild, note its deep red color, and its blackberry aroma," the suave Harry said, dressed in a lavender Tuxedo, to accent certain flavors.

"Wow," said Sally, "this is wonderful!"

"Indeed," echoed Chris.

Harry interjected a factoid to make the couple's experience yet more delicious. "Were you aware that this Sauvignon is aged in oak barrels for 18 months prior to bottling?"

He didn't say that the particular oak tree on the premises used by the winery for bottling had been destroyed because it had been infested by killer bees.

"No, we weren't aware," Chris replied a little too loudly and emphatically.

The Zinfandel arrived next at their outdoor table. "This white dessert wine doesn't age well, I'm afraid," he spoke a second prior to the look of pure fear becoming apparent on his features.

At the worst possible moment, the Sadharts began arguing.

"It's spicy," said Sally.

"You're wrong. It's fruity!" Chris yelled with altogether too much emphasis.

The swarm of killer bees, guided to their table by the current of the micro-breeze and the vibrations of their arguing and possibly by Harry's colorful if incongruous attire, began stinging the couple again and again. This did not feel good on the skin.

The Sadharts were fortunate that Harry had once been an ambulance driver and that an Urgent Care center was very close, and especially that the bills were taken care of.
"It was prudent of us to obtain emergency coverage from a California Health Insurance agent," Sally purred through swollen lips a few days later. "We were extremely prudent, dear, although we'll be in agony for the next few weeks."

Matt Lockard – California Health Insurance agency offers health insurance plans for individuals, families, and children. Also available are California Medicare Supplement policies. Go to Mattsinsurance4ca.com to get an instant health insurance quote and to learn more about California health insurance, California medicare supplements, California health insurance quotes.

Take Me Out of the Ballgame

An 86-year-old cantankerous man's worst fear is realized when he goes to his first Major League Baseball game and gets hit by a foul ball, but insurance obtained from a California Health Insurance agent softened the blow.

Mickey Moosaka's nephews and nieces were at their wit's end. What activity would their cantankerous grand-uncle agree to participate in that the entire family might attend? He'd turned down bowling. "It reminds me of pinheads," old Mickey said. He avoided restaurants. "Flies and their eggs on every plate," he said, sickening anyone within earshot. Miniature golf emphasized the codger's recently shrunken stature. "Don't belittle me by taking me to a place like that," he'd said to his thrifty niece Sappy in his rather squeaky Buster Brown voice. It was decided that "Uncle Mickey" would take in a Dodger game at the Stadium. Above all else, he enjoyed baseball, despite his consummate fears. He finally relented but warned, "I'll probably get bonked by a foul ball off the bat of Manny Ramirez." The geezer was a lifelong Dodger fan but had never been to a game in person.

The Moosakas got a nice row of boxes not far from home plate, but well back in the upper deck. The seats seemed relatively safe. "These are great seats, huh Grumpa?" chirped twelve-year-old Matty to his beloved great-great-uncle. Matty was in his last year of Little League and played all-star caliber shortstop on a junior version of the resurgent Dodgers.

Fifty or sixty foul balls came and went, a few coming close, within a few rows, by the sixth inning, when the famous Dodger left fielder approached the batter's box. "He's going to conk me with a foul ball," Mickey Moosaka predicted. The first pitch to Manny Ramirez was a fastball, which he took. The next two pitches were outside, so the count was 2-and-1 when the fateful pitch came. "This one hits me, I know it," wailed old fearful Mickey. "No, it won't," said Sappy, fast becoming Mickey's least favorite niece. "You worry too much." But the next pitch, a curveball, was fouled back on an ominous trajectory. It seemed like the ball had eyes. Sure enough, it smacked old Mickey on the forehead with tremendous force, knocking him cold. Carried out of the ballgame on a stretcher, he was taken to the nearest hospital.

But Sappy was no sap. "Thank God we already had accidental coverage from a California Health Insurance agent," she said. "It didn't cost us a cent."

"Thank God Grumpa Mickey didn't die!" wailed Matty, placing priorities correctly.

"I guess," Sappy was forced to agree.

Matt Lockard – California Health Insurance agency offers health insurance plans for individuals, families, and children. Also available are California Medicare Supplement policies. Go to Mattsinsurance4ca.com to get an instant health insurance quote and to learn more about California health insurance, California medicare supplements, California health insurance quotes.